there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
