I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
