I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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