I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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