please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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