the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
