11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
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I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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