What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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