Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
