What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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