i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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