Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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