dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
