I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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