you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
