i think my tv is drunk
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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