dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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