im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize