i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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