I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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