Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
