I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
false alarm. still invincible.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
