giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
