Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How external is "for external use only"?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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