It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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