I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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