Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
