508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
