so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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