you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize