I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize