Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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