i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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