they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
