Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize