Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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