I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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