Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
