I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so let's talk penis.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
