they need to just BURY HIM!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
