She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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