if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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