he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
