one two three fourrrrnication!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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