I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
