I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
