I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
