WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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