We need to rekindle our bromance
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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