We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You ruined the universe
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize