he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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