gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize