She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize