i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
