Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
