Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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