You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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